Ted Cruz: Professional Demagogue

By Steve Rohosky


Let’s begin by establishing that Raphael (Ted) Cruz, candidate for the GOP presidential nomination, is a megalomaniac. No matter how one chooses to define and/or describe it, synonyms such as self-centered, pompous, egotistical and vainglorious fit the Texas Blowhard like an army of astrologers camped out at the Reagan White House.

But then, severe character flaws seem to be de rigueur within the Cruz family. His father and wife have both pronounced with great certainty and absolute aplomb–while reportedly maintaining perfectly straight faces–Ted(dy Bare) is God’s Chosen One. That He wants Der Cruzer to be elected the next president of these somewhat United States. Their certainty is said to be so unassailable, it’s as if Pops and the missus have the Christian deity on speed dial.

Hard to ague with either: A) that kind of devotion, not to mention degree of certainty, or B) people off their meds entirely TOO long.

He-Who-Was-Definitely-Not-The-Chosen-One-In-The-New-York-Primary on Tuesday gave a speech intended to be uplifting for his acolytes, later that evening. In it, he had the effrontery to not just invoke the memory and accomplishments of John F. Kennedy, but Cruz brazenly juxtaposed himself as someone following in the beloved former Democratic president’s footsteps, this campaign.

The speech was given soon after The Senator managed to extricate his beloved black ostrich skin cowboy boots–including feet and socks–from his gaping maw, where his dimwitted and altogether derisive put-down of “New York values” led to his disastrous showing in the New York primary.

It was, characteristically, a thoroughly disgraceful diatribe. One which, were Kennedy still alive, he doubtless would have reviled the remarkably regressive Cruz for such a shallow, despicable and all together desperate dissertation.

As if attempting to glom onto the legacy of JFK wasn’t narcissistic enough, the candidate also conjured the revisionist glories of rightist extremist Saint Ronald Reagan.

Remember, Cruz is the self obsessed former protege of Sarah Palin who shut down the government, several years ago, for no other reasons than it garnered him publicity aplenty and to portray himself as not just another trendy anti Washington interloper. No, he wanted to be known as THE ultimate beyond the capital beltway outsider.

Below is a portion of the speech (verbatim) given by God’s rapidly fading champion. Given after fleeing the angry hordes of New York City. In fact, the only things missing as Cruz was chased across the border with New Jersey were pitchforks, flaming torches and effigies to be set ablaze later that night. Having managed to avoid the chestytraps–Republicans no longer reference the word “booby” for obvious reasons–and numerous Jersey State troopers Trump supporter Chis Christie planted along way, the Lone Star Mighty Mouth successfully relocated, barely, the traveling combination Old Fashioned Revival of Faith and Minstrel Show which masquerades as a Cruz campaign rally. Settled right where his exaltedness hopes he will find a more receptive audience in Philadelphia, PA.

Good luck with that, Senator, considering Philadelphia’s reputation as a town tough to please. One exceedingly well earned, as immortalized several decades ago when tens of thousands of football fans attending an Eagles game greeted the arrival of Santa Claus with lusty booing and insults not to be heard during the family TV viewing hour.

If Philly residents could boo Saint Nick, image the kind of creative displeasure which possibly awaits Raphael (Ted) Cruz, practicing professional demagogue, should he verbalize more boneheaded insults of the locals, highlighted by condescending comments about “Pennsylvania values.”


“This is the year of the outsider. I’m an outsider; Bernie Sanders is an outsider. Both with the same diagnosis, but both with very different paths to healing. Millions of Americans have chosen one of these outsiders.

“Our campaigns don’t find our fuel in bundlers and special interests, but rather directly from the people. The wide eyed youth of any age that haven’t given up on the hope that tomorrow can and will be better.

“Ronald Reagan and Jack Kennedy were outsiders. They both represented a whole new vision and vibrancy. A new generation of ideas. Jack Kennedy looked forward, instead of back to the first half century of world war. He knew that America could dream and build if we were set free. Not tanks for war, but rockets for exploration.

“Reagan looked out to us, the most powerful force for innovation that the world has even known. There we found new tech pioneers like Bill Gates and a young Steve Jobs. They had vision and the freedom to build a new world that at the time only they saw. Because they were free they challenged the way and changed the way that all of us live, work and interact.

“Now it’s our turn.

“This generation must first look inward to see who we really are after years of being beaten down. Years of being told we couldn’t, shouldn’t, or wouldn’t. This generation needs to answer a new set of questions: Can we, should we, will we…”

In the immortal words of former Democratic Vice Presidential candidate, Lloyd Bentsen: “I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy.”

Now, pardon me while I once again metaphorically hurl my outrage into a strategically placed bucket.


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